Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder:
“My husband’s family insists we spend every holiday with them, but I want to be with my family for some. What do we do?” was a question posed at a marriage workshop for young adults in Cambodia. I was on the workshop panel and this question spoke to my heart. 

I hadn’t understood the full meaning of covenant relationships or God’s plan for marriage when I was first wed. No one told me. But perhaps, I thought, these young people could begin married life in a more God-honoring way than I had been able to do.

In Bible times, a covenant relationship between two men meant they were brothers. What one owned belonged to the other. They shared resources, took on one another’s debt, considered each other’s friends and enemies as their own, and valued the other’s family on an “I’ll die for them” level.  It was as if they pledged, “Your family is my family and my family is your family.”

A shift took place when I understood this. It was no longer his family and my family. Both of our families became “our” family. I had always had great respect for my husband’s family and we gladly shared holidays with both families. But there was a new value and level of honor that rose up in me as well as a desire to love every family member to the best of my ability.

My answer to the young woman was something like, “I believe God’s plan is for married couples to stop thinking in terms of my family and your family. In marriage your family is his family and his family is your family. When you recognize this, together you figure out how to honor both families. It may mean your husband has to explain this to his family and you to yours.  And once you have children, there may come a time when you ask them to respect your desire to build traditions with your immediate family unit once-in-awhile. Honor and respect for one another’s family will strengthen your marriage.”

I think this picture extends to our married siblings. My brother’s wife is my sister and my sister’s husband is my brother. My in-laws’ parents and siblings are my relatives, too, because marriage, a covenant relationship, ties us together. No, it’s not the same level of involvement, but my heart is for them and I value my sister and brother’s relationships with them.

God’s kingdom ways are beautiful and when we come into agreement with them, we are blessed—no matter where in the world we live! Let’s ask God if there’s any place our thinking needs to change regarding family relationships.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, 
but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.
 Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, 
which is good and pleasing and perfect. 
–Romans 12:2 (NLT)

Pray: Lord, thank you for continually inviting me to adjust my thinking so that my heart will be transformed to be more like Yours. Thank you for Your covenant design for marriage and (if you are married) for all the people I’m in relationship with as a result. I want to honor my spouse’s family and/or my siblings’ marriages and families. I want Your perspective and heart.

Show me if there is any shift I need to make in the way I think of extended family members.

(If repentance is needed, ask the Lord to forgive you.)

Lord, show me what it looks like to be in a God-honoring relationship with anyone You bring to mind. Thank you for the Holy Spirit who guides and strengthens me. (Pray a blessing over your family members.)

The Son of God became a man 
to enable men to become the sons of God.
—C. S. Lewis

For God so loved the world that He gave His
only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him
should not perish but have everlasting life.
—John 3;16

Christmas blessings to all of you. May the love and peace of Christ live through you today. Kathy and Kathy

And there were shepherds residing in the fields nearby,
keeping watch over their flocks by night.
Just then, an angel of the Lord stood before them,
and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
But the angel said to them,
“Do not be afraid!
For behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people:
Today in the City of David a Savior has been born to you.
He is Christ the Lord!
And this will be a sign to you:
You will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a great multitude of the heavenly host,
praising God and saying:

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men
on whom His favor rests!”

–Luke 2:8-14 (BSB)

Walking out of church a couple of weeks ago, a friend and I encountered a young homeless woman sitting out in the cold. We were on our way to brunch and faced a familiar dilemma. Do we smile and walk by or do we stop and engage? My friend stepped up, looked at the woman and said, “There’s hot coffee inside if you’d like some.” Thinking that sounded good, the woman gathered her things and followed us back into church.

With food and drink in hand, we sat down to talk. She shared her story and told us about her upcoming court-ordered rehab. I was excited for her and the possibility of change. She shrugged and let me know this wasn’t her first or even second time through rehab.

Her pain touched my heart, and I asked her why she thought treatment didn’t stick. In a steady flow of tears, she shared a bit of her heart and the negative feelings that kept her in bondage to drugs. We listened, prayed, and my friend suggested we take her to the local Mission where she could stay until her rehab date. She’d been down this road before and told us she would need to go to detox before she could go to the Mission. “Shall we call detox?” we asked. She agreed and a bed was available. We drove her there and got her settled in.

Later that day, when sharing this story with my husband, he made the comment, “What she needs is someone to move in with her to show her how to live.”

“As opposed to her moving in with us?” I asked.

“I think that would be too big of a jump for her,” my husband said. “What she needs is someone to move into her environment and show her how to live differently.”

I later shared my husband’s thoughts with Kathy M. and she responded, “Isn’t that what God did for us?”

“Yes,” I thought, “that’s it! That’s what Christmas is all about!” For Jesus left heaven and entered our sin infested world to show us how to live differently. He became one of us and taught us to live according to heaven’s priorities. This is good news of great joy!

Unto us a Savior was born, and He has moved into our neighborhood!

The Word became flesh and blood,
    and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
    the one-of-a-kind glory,
    like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
    true from start to finish.
–John 1:14 (MSG)

Your Response: Jesus, thank you that You came to earth—to my neighborhood—to show me how to live. As I begin my day, what is one thing You want to remind me about Your life on earth?

Now, help me live it well today.